June 3rd! Upcoming Intimate Three Stone Hearth Retreat: The Importance of an Ancestral Diet, Regular Bone Broth and Fermented Foods!

I'm getting more and more excited for The Healing Farm's one-day retreat at Three Stone Hearth in Berkeley! There's only room for ten and we have a few spots left, so please sign up sooner than later.

I've FINALLY been listening to an incredible hormone balance workshop called "Cooking for Balance" with Magdalena Wszelaki, the nutritionist behind the site Hormones & Balance. I just love how informative Magdalena is about the importance of gut health, liver detox, inflammation reduction, etc. in helping restore hormone balance in the body. Although the upcoming Three Stone Hearth retreat is NOT female only (we can ALL benefit in huge ways by eating a whole foods, ancestral diet), fermented foods and bone broth go a long way in helping women restore balance in the body and I would highly recommend taking one of Magdalena's workshops.

I was just listening this morning to one of the sections of the "Cooking with Balance" workshop and Magdalena brought up - yet again - how daily doses of fermented foods and bone broth (collagen) are so instrumental in keeping the gut healthy and the body balanced naturally. I've been trying to add fermented foods into my diet and through trial and error have realized that for my body, I can tolerate sauerkraut well. For a while I was adding Kambucha into my smoothies but have realized that I get bloating from kambucha so now try to limit my intake. Sauerkraut on the other hand is yummy and I can put it easily on a cooked brat (no bun!) which fits in well with the high fat eating plan I'm currently trying out (for my brain health and weight loss). Jury is still out for the Ketogenic Diet and my body (I'm only two weeks in) and I'll update as I move further along.

What I do believe in wholeheartedly and have embraced almost 100% is an ancestral diet and what better place to go to learn the basics than to Three Stone Hearth in Berkeley  - a business that has been at the forefront of ancestral eating and the importance of bone broth. Starting the week before out retreat, participants can go to Three Stone Hearth's site and pre-order whole pre-made foods, house made kambucha and of course the most collagen-filled bone broth I have ever seen! Participants can place orders starting Thursday, May 25th through Wednesday, May 31st for pickup on retreat day!

Although I try to make my own bone broth (both beef and chicken), I've only ONCE reached the level of collagen that Three Stone Hearth has perfected. It's also hard to get the organic grass-finished and pastured raised bones and chicken feet necessary to get that amount of collagen so ordering pre-made bone from from a reliable source can be key. It's not cheap, that's for sure, but if you're kicking off an elimination diet, trying to reduce systemic inflammation to reduce chronic pain and illness or want to strengthen your immune system or balance your hormones and don't have time to start learning to make a collagen-rich bone broth on your own, this would be a good place to start.

Same goes for fermented foods. Magdalena does a few video lessons in making fermented foods in her "Cooking for Balance" workshop, but we will have a firsthand demo at the retreat and will even have a little bit to take home with us! If you want more than our little bit we've made ourselves, you can pre-order your TSH fermented foods and drinks to take home with you too. 

If you forget to pre-order, rest-assured they have a tiny storefront in which you can pick up foods on-site. It's just a more limited selection.

Since I've started my ancestral heath journey, I've always shied away from doing such "hippie dippy" things as making bone broth and fermenting foods, but as I go deeper and realize how much better my body feels, I've realized that it's fun and CHEAPER to make my own. I've only gone as far as making the bone broth at home and am excited to learn fermenting and pickling on-site on June 3rd with the experts where I can ask questions and see firsthand (I'm a visual learner!) how it's done so I'm more comfortable exploring a little more at home.

I've been using Dr. Axe's bone broth recipe for my own beef broth and  Chris Kresser's for chicken. I find that I get the best results for the chicken broth by using chicken feet (I've found them at the Berkeley Bowl). I roast the chicken first via Chris Kresser's recipe and then crack and use the bones, veggies and add the chicken feet and cook for 48 hours in my Instant Pot.  For the Dr. Axe recipe I buy knuckle and beef marrow bones from Prather Ranch at the Temescal Farmer's Market.

Happy cooking and healing everyone and I hope to see you at The Three Stone Hearth Retreat! Sign up here!:

Inspired and On Fire: What One Quote and One E-Mail can do to Stoke the Fires Within

This is the magnetic board, next to my desk.

This is the magnetic board, next to my desk.

I was recently reading the most current issue of the only magazine I read (besides the Sunday New York Times magazine) and one quote really hit me hard. I believe Conscious Company Magazine is one of the most important publications out there today and it inspires me every time knowing there are other business owners and entrepreneurs who are passionate about building responsible businesses. In the about section of the Conscious Company Magazine it says they are here to , "share inspiring, cutting edge stories about business as a force for good, host educational events and workshops, and connect talented individuals with purpose-driven work, all with the higher purpose of elevating consciousness in the business world."

The current issue is about hope and features various articles about how social entrepreneurship and other “conscious” for-profit businesses can help build a more sustainable future for the earth and for its inhabitants: starting with responsible business practices. The article I was reading was “19 Social Entrepreneurs to Watch in 2017”. They featured “inspirations, recommendations and recent lessons from the social entrepreneurs” they interviewed. The first person featured was Jessica Norwood, Founder of “The Runway Project”. It always seems that just when I feel like throwing in the towel I see something that inspires me to pick myself up by the bootstraps and keep moving forward with The Healing Farm concept. Jessica’s quote now hangs on the magnetic board next to my desk (pictured above) alongside The Healing Farm’s trademark certificate which is something that took WAY longer than I thought it would take to obtain, but with perseverance actually happened. It now hangs where I can see it every day to remind myself that I worked hard for it so I need to make The Healing Farm happen!

The quote they featured is: “If you believe, stick with it. Too many people give up right before the tide changes.” 

Almost everything I read about obtaining big dreams or striving for something more in life states that it’s hard and it’s full of challenges. It’s what I experience almost everyday in this start-up phase of The Healing Farm and it’s important for me to see that others struggle too, but with great challenges comes great accomplishment. I’m in a tricky place right now straddling between letting go of my photography business (but still needing the income) and trying to find the time to focus on growing The Healing Farm business and it’s really easy sometimes to think about how being a bartender in Mexico might be a lot more fun and WAY less stressful. It’s also a slow process starting this business and I get frustrated, wanting to build The Healing Farm right away. When I get overwhelmed thinking about it, I truly want to throw in the towel and pursue something easier in my middle age. Some days I truly feel that way, but then there are days when I have such a great confidence in this dream and KNOW it’s a missing link in the healthcare industry. Healing centers and places shouldn’t just be for the wealthy, yet so many are built for the luxury market. Healing places also don’t have to be just for those already dedicated to a yoga or meditation practice. Healing places don’t have to be western medicine based either. I want to create a true natural healing place for all and I don’t want to give up. It needs to happen and I’ll figure out how to make it so.

After mulling over the quote for a week or so, an email landed in my inbox and I want to share it with you here. This is not the first time I’ve received an email like this and it sets me on fire to build The Healing Farm. I’ve taken out names and paraphrased to protect privacy, here it is:

Julie,

I've been following you for a while on Facebook and tonight while searching for a friend in need your site popped up. This is a random chance but do you or the community you've created offer short term healing housing opportunities (I don't think that exists as I think I made that up)...

Here's the situation: I have a friend, named ______, battling _______ disease and it feels like she literally has her last opportunity to live.

{Through my business I try to give her as much organic nourishment as I can}, but she needs so much more. She needs a place to heal. She's _____ single mother of 2, lives {in a supported situation} and is unable to care for her children. Her current living situation is very unstable and unhealthy. I feel in my heart of hearts if she could just go away and heal - she has a chance to win this battle.

That's where your site popped up in my search. I know it's a random outreach but I thought it couldn't hurt.

If you or someone you know have any leads to help manifest this idea I welcome it.

Either way... keep up the awesome work and I hope one day to be at one of your retreats and I'll remind you I was the crazy lady with the crazy idea.

Thanks for even reading this!

Cheers,

_________

This reinforced to me that the tide is indeed changing. More and more people are following The Healing Farm and are inspired by the vision and want me to make my dream come true, to help others. After seeing this email come through, I’m inspired to try to create a crowd-funding campaign to get seed money from passionate people who want this property to happen. Letting go of the photography business to focus fully on The Healing Farm could be the next step I need to focus on how to make The Healing Farm a reality.

Healing myself and healing others. It’s what I’m working toward and it’s a missing link in the health and wellness industry. Let’s together make this happen! The Healing Farm. Cultivating practical wellness!

Solo Travel: Inspiring Women to be Brave and to Explore Yourself

Chatting with a man with no pants. A desert super bloom with flowers as far as the eye can see. Dancing solo by the fire under the full starry night sky in the warm desert breeze. Plus, unexpectedly learning to accept changes in my idealized plans somewhere along the way. This is living. This is my joy. I finished both “The Untethered Soul”  and “The Crossroads of Should and Must” on this trip. Appropriate reading for a solo desert camping trip. And all stemming from a decision to travel by myself before and in between Southern California photo shoots.

I camped in Joshua Tree solo several years ago when I was at the very beginning of my journey to find out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Husband? I decided resolutely that he’s who I want to grow old with and since that decision, we’ve gotten closer and closer (we’ve been together for twelve years and married for almost nine). I decided about a year ago that he’s my soulmate and I said it out loud in December. Seems a little strange after all these years to finally come to these solid conclusions, but I now understand the concept of a slow burn vs. the beginning fireworks of a relationship. It’s the slow burn that ends up being sustainable and once those coals are lit, it gets stronger and stronger. Camping solo for four days can do that for you. It can show you your greatest heights and loves and passions and your deepest fears and misgivings. But mostly it can bring you to depths of understanding about yourself and your place in this universe.

tent_camping

The reassurance about my marriage was an unexpected outcome of that first trip, but the journey I started on that first solo trip to Joshua Tree really was that of The Healing Farm. I read the book “Fail Fast, Fail Often” in my tent and at the same time I was seeing a career counselor. I had already decided I no longer wanted to be a wedding photographer and had started dreaming of a place called “The Healing Farm”. From that trip and the work I did with the career counselor, I have started building The Healing Farm brand, I’ve held single and multi-day retreats and continue to try to grow into this new role of founder of a dream. Founder of a big dream. I needed this time alone in the desert to reaffirm. So far I still don’t know, but what I do know is that I’m on the right path for me. One of opening and healing. I’m finding the dreamer in me that’s always been there. I’ve not trusted that dreamer completely and I’m still hesitant, but I’m getting closer to letting go and letting her take over again. It’s about time after 40 or so years.

As I read more about Buddhism and meditating I’m learning to let go. Learning to be the dreamer again. I’m learning to let go of my fears and am embracing living in the moment and trusting that if I do what I love, and love what I do that success will follow. Success is a funny word though. Success to me doesn’t have a monetary meaning. Success to me is finding what my true passion is. Being excited to go to work, living and working with enthusiastic people in a beautiful setting and helping others in the process would be the greatest successful outcome of my life. I understand all businesses need to make a profit, but there’s a new movement in business in which profit is not the driving force behind the vision. Workplace culture, helping others, helping this planet, showing others the ecstasy one can find in nature and the joy and energy received from natural healing, meditation and gratitude will lead to a successful business. I’m so happy I found “Conscious Company” magazine. It’s something that has put a definition to what I’m trying to do with The Healing Farm.

As I finished “The Untethered Soul”, I was struggling with learning to let go of the energy of the spring breakers surrounding me while I tried to camp in “solitude” at Joshua Tree. There are “quiet hours” at any campground and being 19-21 year old kids on spring break I should be glad they weren’t more obnoxious and I was actually really happy they were out camping and hiking at Joshua Tree rather than participating in wet t-shirt contests in Ft. Lauderdale, but still I was hoping for the peace and joy I found the night before camping at The Salton Sea and had a hard time “letting go”. So I came up with a plan that would keep me from thinking about it obsessively and spending my precious time annoyed (which is what I would normally do). I’m sure this is not what the book had in mind for letting go --planning is really not part of it, but if I didn’t do that I would have been stressed the whole time.

Basically on the second day (my first full day) I decided I would go on a huge hike (in the plan anyway) and to go early enough that when I returned, the spring breakers would still be out hiking since they would likely get a later start. Then when I came back to camp, I would spend a few mid-to-late afternoon quiet hours napping and reading while they were still out. As they filtered back into their camps, I would go out in the car to explore some areas along the road that had some wildflowers I wanted to check out and I would come back around dusk to start my fire and dinner. Sure enough, when I got back all the spring break camps around me had their music going (not too loud thankfully), but I was prepared with my plan and therefore remained pretty zen. I cooked my dinner and when it became apparent they would keep their music going, I sat by the fire for the rest of the evening with my headphones on being inspired by my own music. Part of the plan had been to ask the biggest group if they were planning on staying the next night and if they said yes, I decided I would pack it up and move on to another plan for my last solo night. Indeed they were staying, so without upset I packed it up the next morning and went back to the Salton Sea for a little photo shoot of “kickass solo camper Julie with the axe” and moved on to Palm Springs to stay in comfort at a place called “The Nurturing Nest”. My body was craving water at that point so staying at the Nurturing Nest and soaking in their natural hot springs water was lovely and I was able to take a long shower and prep for my re-entry into the real world. Amazingly, my plan worked and I didn’t get all worked up about the spring breakers ruining my camping trip plan. Normally I’m pretty good about expressing my displeasure with other’s noise in peaceful places, but I decided I didn’t want to dampen their pretty wholesome spring break camping fun which is another reason I came up with another plan.

palm_tree_rows

Learning to let go, not being too tied to a plan and accepting change is all part of the person I’m trying to be. Building this business of The Healing Farm is a constant high and low, feeling of being “untethered” and unsure and feeling like I’m all alone. There’s nothing like traveling alone (doesn’t have to be camping!) to realize that you can rely on yourself, roll with the punches, accept changes and be confident that you’re going to learn some great lessons along the way.

I would love to offer immersion retreats for women to feel more empowered to have experiences like this. When I got to Los Angeles after being out in the desert, I stayed with an old roommate. She laughed when I got out of the car and said she half expected me to be carrying the axe from my Salton Sea photo shoot. Perhaps on that future immersion retreat, I’ll get axes branded with The Healing Farm logo to give as gifts to my kickass women’s retreat participants.

Cultivating practical wellness means a lot of things to me. Reducing inflammation in the body through an elimination diet and finding what works for you to get rid of or manage your chronic conditions, building a regular meditation practice into your life (even if it’s a few minutes a day), finding a realistic sustainable exercise plan are all a big part of what I want to teach at The Healing Farm, but also finding that place in you where you feel strong and confident is important too. These are all things that are hard to start, but inexpensive and easy to maintain in the long run and in finding what works for you, you will learn to naturally thrive. I promise. It’s happening for me and I can see the light at the end of the dark tunnel of uncertainty. I’m becoming “Untethered” and ready to really live.

The Healing Farm - Cultivating Practical Wellness.

NeuroMuscular Reprogramming

I've written before about my chronic back pain in the SI joint area and that the work I did with Chris Kresser brought my eight year chronic pain from feeling it 60-100% of the time down to 0-20% of the time just by reducing inflammation in my body, but alas, the pain still lurks. Although reducing inflammation has been life-changing in reducing the pain, the underlying issue is still unresolved

For my 50th birthday, my in-laws gave me a gift of an initial consultation and treatment with Jocelyn Olivier of Healus Neuro-Rehab Center. I had never heard of "NeuroMuscular Reprogramming" but my mother-in-law was pretty enthusiastic so I gave it a try. From the minute Jocelyn started working on me I was amazed at her quick and confident actions. I was literally in good hands with someone I could tell could "feel" my body and what it needed. 

NeuroMuscular Reprogramming, or NMR, is an elegant and efficient protocol for figuring out and correcting the coordination dysfunctions that cause most musculo-skeletal pain, joint misalignment and degeneration. It can be done clothed or in the context of your regular bodywork practice. It fits inside your other modalities and increases the effectiveness of your work.

I'm still working with Jocelyn and one of her other therapists (Terez!) to try to unpeel the layers of years of corrections my body has made from past injuries. In my last session, Jocelyn had me in a position and started pressing on a point in my lower back that actually pinpointed where the deep pain was coming from. This is something nobody has been able to do because the pain was so deeply buried. At first it hurt a lot, but she kept pressing but then the pain diminished little by little and when finally it was completely gone I started crying. Even though I still feel the pain (we haven't quite gotten to it 100%), through all the work she's done thus far, something was finally released and the crying was an emotional release from years of pain being buried deep within.

I'm pretty passionate about the work she's doing and thought I would share this walking workshop she's offering on April 29th. I have a commitment already for that day, but I'm going to try to work this walking program into my schedule if I can and hope I see some familiar faces!

Working with Healus is not inexpensive, but if you have a chronic pain issue and reducing inflammation alone isn't quite getting to the bottom of it, maybe give it an initial consultation and see if this therapy might be a good fit for you.

10,000 Steps Before Breakfast

Hiking 10,000 steps before breakfast is certainly NOT a practical health and wellness solution to build into your everyday life, but when in Rome……

I love the morning hikes at Rancho La Puerta (I always call it my favorite place in the world). Rancho La Puerta is without a doubt my biggest influence for wanting to start The Healing Farm. Recently, I was inspired once again by a talk given by Professor Ludwig Max Fischer. He is passionate about what RLP is all about and seems to be the unofficial (or maybe the official) ranch historian. Max was at the ranch when I was here photographing last spring and shared with us the mini-documentary on the origins of RLP and Edmond ("The Professor") and Deborah Szekely (founders). Rancho La Puerta, just in case you didn't know, is the Godmother of all health retreats/spas and was founded in the mid-forties. It was thought of by some as a cult because the Professor's teaching about natural healing and meditation in Western culture was so ahead of it's time. During Max’s talk the other day, he brought up how influential RLP has been to so many modern day health gurus and how many of them are now coming to speak about natural and holistic healing at the ranch today.

I’ve been  fortunate enough to come to the ranch once or twice a year to do their marketing photography and can honestly say the ranch has been so influential in my life that it has inspired my current career change journey. It was around the time I was working with Chris Kresser and in the process of treating all of my chronic health conditions that I came to photograph at the ranch for the first time. I had already been dreaming of a place called “The Healing Farm” where one could go to immerse themselves in learning about natural healing and realized when I walked onto the RLP property for the first time that it already exists! I was instantly an RLP disciple (or “cult” follower if I were here in the 40s and 50s), but I realized that places like RLP which have sprouted up all over the world are called “spas” and are unaffordable to most people. I would love to create a place with multiple levels of accommodation (think camping to cabins!) with a little more of a focus on serious healing of chronic conditions (think on-site functional medicine practitioners and nutritionists) to guide guests on a personal wellness journey. Learn how to prevent before the chronic conditions creep in or how to manage or even cure chronic conditions that already exist.

I recently wrote about my Fitbit fitness tracker and how enamored I am with how easy it is to use and how much it keeps me on track with my fitness and weight loss goals and was excited to have it at the ranch with me this time. It’s a HUGE property and requires a lot of walking, especially if you’re in one of the outer property accommodations (which I usually am). I had heard that if you were staying on the outskirts of the property by the end of the week you would walk about 20 miles – and that’s not including the morning hikes! I love the morning hikes at RLP and couldn’t wait to see how many steps I would take this week which is why I was inspired to do this post. Yesterday I did one of the mountain hikes. I didn’t want to get up at 5:30 in the morning, but the ranch makes it pretty easy. I naturally go to bed around 9:00 here so when the alarm rings at 5:30AM, I roll out of bed, throw on the clothes I laid out the night before, don’t even bother to brush my teeth and go out into the still starry early morning. When I get to the lounge, there’s usually a roaring fire going, coffee and tea prepared and some cut up grapefruit, oranges and bananas. I have snack and some coffee sitting in front of the fire chatting with all the other morning hikers and then off we go as the sun rises. Usually I start chatting with a fellow hiker or two and end up getting to know them throughout the hike. A great way to make friends at the ranch! Sometimes, I hike in solitude. I learned from this routine many visits ago that I could repeat this at home and build morning exercise into my routine. I could get up an hour earlier, make coffee and have a snack, read a little news and then workout before I start the day.

The ranch has also been my inspiration and teacher for my morning meditation practice. During their morning guided meditation classes, I have learned to not be intimidated by meditation and have built it into my morning routine by doing a ten-minute meditation while I brew my coffee!

I’ve been having a blast this week keeping informed through my Fitbit how many steps I’m taking during a day at RLP. I laughed out loud yesterday on the 5.5 mile mountain hike when my wrist started buzzing and I realized I had met my 10,000 steps a day goal before I even had breakfast. That’s what the ranch will do for you. Maybe you won’t put in 10,000 steps before breakfast every day (or maybe not even once a year!), but you get inspired and learn new things every day, take them and then figure out how to build them into your everyday life. You start making long-term changes a little at a time until eventually you have a regular ten minute a day meditation practice and a four day a week exercise routine that you naturally do because you’ve learned how to easily fit it into your routine.

Max said during his talk the other day that part of The Professor’s vision for RLP was sort of a grand real-life test for what he felt was the future of wellness. He was onto something so many years ago and I’m so lucky to have come here during my photography career to be inspired and rejuvenated in my midlife to make short and long-term changes in my own life. I want to do what The Professor has done. I want to go out into the world bringing health practitioners and educators together in a beautiful and affordable setting to change the course of healthcare.

Stop and Smell the Wildflowers: Unexpectedly One of my Life's Greatest Experiences!

When asked to describe Burning Man the first time I went (2005), I hesitated and then said: "It's like my experience seeing the pyramids in Egypt and the animals in Africa”. It's impossible to describe and I think really hard to capture on film or in pictures. It's something you have to experience in person. How can I adequately describe walking out onto an upper terrace of the Masque of Muhammad Ali in Cairo and getting my first sight of the pyramids of Giza rising out of the desert on the other side of the city? They dwarfed Cairo. How can I describe when my guide pulled over as soon as we got into Chobe Game Reserve in Botswana and pointed out hippos bobbing up and down in the water (like Hungry Hungry Hippo!) and then a herd of elephants walking by? Seeing those animals in their natural habitat was astounding. When I saw giraffes, I cried. But really, unless you’re there, it’s hard know what it’s like. Getting out of my car and first catching the incredible scent of flowers in the air and then walking across the street to the field of wildflowers along Henderson Road in Anza Borrego during the “super bloom” instantly was added to my list of the indescribable. I decided the only way I could describe it is that it felt like I was at a botanic garden's carefully cultivated exhibit of California desert wildflowers, only on what seemed to be on an infinite scale.

Despite running my photo business and starting The Healing Farm business, I decided when I booked almost back-to-back photo shoots in southern California, that I would drive and camp in between (probably not the best use of my time, right?). Then I realized that the week before my first shoot was probably about the time of the wildflower bloom in Anza Borrego. I heard about the desert bloom many years ago and had always wanted to go. I figured I would drive a week early and if I hit the bloom, I hit it. If not, so be it. How could I have known that the very week I would be there was not just the peak of the bloom, but a “super bloom”. And this is not a crying wolf super bloom. It's AMAZING. I can't tell you how glad I am that I played hooky! Someone told me there were some flowers blooming whose seeds have been dormant for 15-20 years! I hit the jackpot! Given I’m a photographer and had my equipment with me because of my upcoming photo shoots, there are a LOT of pictures so I’m going to stop typing and start posting some pics! I’m a terrible editor so there are LOADS. Enjoy the indescribable!

Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Something wacky happened with this panoramic (some pixels missing), but you can see my Subaru parked on the dirt road in the background. SubaWOO!

Something wacky happened with this panoramic (some pixels missing), but you can see my Subaru parked on the dirt road in the background. SubaWOO!

Someone told me this is mountain lavender - it smelled like lavender light!

Someone told me this is mountain lavender - it smelled like lavender light!

Anza Borrego super bloom 2017

I hiked into Palm Canyon my second day to see a palm oasis in the desert. Not only were there incredible wildflowers along that trail too, but the oasis was incredible. I hiked above the palms further into the canyon only to discover waterfalls and little swimming holes. On a 95 degree day hiking in a desert canyon NOTHING feels better then dunking in a mountain pool - or sitting under a waterfall. I spotted a big horned sheep in the distance on my way into the canyon, but then nearing the trailhead on the way out a few of us hikers were treated to a whole herd grazing right next to the trail. The two shots I'm including here were taken with my iphone - not a fancy telephoto lens. That's how close they were. What a topper to a serendipitous stop in the desert!

This was my primary swim spot. It's deceptive. The area between the boulders was up to my chest deep and I could actually swim under water in it! Then I laid out on the hot rock and sand. It was incredible and only one person passed me by despite th…

This was my primary swim spot. It's deceptive. The area between the boulders was up to my chest deep and I could actually swim under water in it! Then I laid out on the hot rock and sand. It was incredible and only one person passed me by despite the crowds in the park!

Almost to the palm oasis - a hiker taking a break.

Almost to the palm oasis - a hiker taking a break.

Hiker's hat at the palm oasis

Hiker's hat at the palm oasis

Anza Borrego super bloom 2017
Big Horned Sheep
Big Horned Sheep Anza Borrego super bloom 2017

I'm getting sleepy and it's taking forever to upload all these photos so I'm going to be healthy and go to sleep, but hope to post more tomorrow! I'll leave you with a couple more....

In the shadow of the photographer ;-) Good Night!

In the shadow of the photographer ;-) Good Night!

Old Fashioned Salmon Cakes - It's What to do with Leftover Salmon!!!!

My ex Mother-in-Law used to make these and I remember going over to her house the first time she made them and dreading sitting down to eat. I grew up hating fish for dinner, between the Fridays of Lent, fish sticks, and the dreaded whole cooked fish fresh caught by my dad on Lake Michigan that day (believe me, as a kid a whole cooked fish sitting on the table is not a welcome sight.) I've never been a fan of fish for dinner no matter HOW good it is for you. But as I've aged and started learning about the benefits of Omega 3s, I've been trying to cook more fish. Especially salmon, since that's the most satisfying to me and loaded with Omega 3s.

BUT, if I don't buy the tiny amount fresh at the farmer's market (expensive for such a small amount), I buy the packaged wild caught Alaska salmon at Trader Joe's which is two HUGE fillets. Even though I would be MORE than happy to eat a whole gigantic fillet without a problem, I'm trying to watch portions, so end up with leftovers. Especially if my equally non-fish-loving husband decides to make a frozen pizza instead. Unless I put it in a salad for lunch the next day, it's not very appealing to eat leftover salmon, so remembering the old days at my ex mother-in-law's and I looked up a salmon cake recipe. I'm HOOKED!

Even if your family LOVES broiled/grilled salmon for dinner, consider cooking extra to make these either the next day or freeze the cooked salmon and make the cakes another time. I've made the recipe a little more paleo-friendly (paleo mayo and gluten free panko). It's not 100%, but it's pretty close for those of you who are not 100% paleo like me. These are really tasty when you're hankering for something lightly fried and salty for dinner and really great heated up with salad and 1/2 sweet potato the next day for lunch.

Yumskells!!!! Enjoy!

Opportunities Gained Oh So Briefly and Lost. Recognizing the Impermanence of our Fleeting Emotions.

My husband and I watched with fascination a couple of weeks ago the incredible rise and fall of Milo Yiannopoulos. If you were reading the news a few weeks ago, he's the sensationalist ultra-conservative writer/speaker who was supposed to speak at UC Berkeley only to be cancelled due to a peaceful protest by UC Berkeley students being disrupted by a few anarchists. It all created a hoopla (rightfully so) about free speech and open communication on campuses across the US, but took an ugly turn by our current president when he threatened to pull federal funding to the University. The result is that Mr. Yiannopoulos, who was hardly a household name before the controversy, catapulted to fame. Within days, he was getting major press and as a result, major speaking engagements. With fame (or a controversial figure) comes lots of people digging into the past. It's the nature of our current (and damaging) 24 hour news cycle. Within what may have been as little as 48 hours, Mr. Yiannopoulos' reputation came tumbling down from revelations of past controversial remarks. It was an amazingly quick rise and fall and it made my husband and I talk of what he must have been feeling throughout this brief, but highly emotional time. From what must have been an ultimate high of becoming so famous and sought out to everything crashing down, to what must have been an ultimate emotional low in his life (he lost his speaking engagements, his book deal AND his job within 24 hours).

Why am I bringing this up? As I read more about meditation to try to understand my OWN emotional highs and lows while growing this business, I'm trying to grasp the understanding that our emotions, although sometimes palpably and physically real to us, are really meaningless. If you come to understand that your core being and consciousness never fluctuates from before you are born to the minute you die (and maybe beyond with the transfer of energy) you begin to understand that it doesn't really make sense to dwell in your emotions - whether high or low. This is NOT easy.

The other day, I met with a property owner whom I’ve admired for years. She and her husband have built an incredible business and property in a rural location and are working hard to build the business into the ultimate lifestyle they want for their future. This is also my concept behind The Healing Farm property. It would be my home. It would be my family and it would be my plan for retirement.

When I met with the property owner we knew we wanted to discuss the possibility of holding a THF retreat on the property, but we also knew we were both open to other possible working relationships. It came to light that a position which would fit a lot of my skills was opening up and it dawned on me that it might be the perfect transition out of photography and into the retreat/property management business. For a little less than 24 hours we were bouncing back and forth with emails about the possibility of me taking on the job. I discussed it with Brennan (my husband) and he was game. I became more and more excited as the evening and the e-mails progressed. My emotional excitement became palpable. I woke up four times during the night both elated and panicked about the possibility of such great change and opportunity. The next morning, I think the emotions transferred more to self-doubt and panic. Could I really handle the job and was I really the right fit for them? I exchanged a few more detailed e-mails about the job description and setting up a second visit to the property and continued to grow more excited and more panicky. Then I got the devastating e-mail that I was not a good fit. It was gracious and kind and true and it plummeted me to depths of self-doubt and fear that I hadn't experienced since I ran my first multi-day retreat. I found all this out while care-taking a sick friend's kids and had to hold in my emotions until I got to my car. I cried all the way home. And then I cried some more when I told Brennan the news and I cried some more when I went to sleep and I cried some more when I woke up and some more when I brewed the coffee.

And then a funny thing happened. I usually make coffee-brewing time my morning meditation time so I went to meditate. I came out of meditation with the realization that what's done is done, I am who I am and if the job didn't work out then it probably wasn't a good fit. The property owners recognized and weighed the risks of my relative inexperience and my long-term commitment. I realized I should do the same. I still felt like crap and was exhausted from the emotion, but I remembered the meditation book "The Untethered Soul" talking about the problem we all have with dwelling on emotions that can come and go as fleetingly as any thought.

I think the strongest analogy I read in the book was this: Say you are dating someone and really, really starting to like them and then suddenly you don't hear from them for a few days. They aren't answering or returning your calls. You start to panic. You start to wonder what you did wrong. You start to obsess about it and start beating yourself up about it (because it must have been something you did. Maybe you had bad breath, or said something dumb). This leads to feeling down about yourself which then leads to feeling borderline depressed and physically exhausted. Maybe even tears and loss of sleep. Suddenly this person calls and apologizes for being MIA. They had some good reason or another (family emergency?) for not being able to get back to you and they want to know if you're available to see them tonight because they really missed you and would love your company. You hang up the phone and suddenly your exhaustion is lifted and you're jumping up and down all over the living room.

How does our emotion change so quickly? Because everything is impermanent. Emotions ebb and flow at any whim, but if you learn to look deep enough into yourself and your consciousness, you can learn to tap into a part of you that never wavers. You are who you are. You are always there. Same as ever. Peaceful and calm very deep within and you can learn to tap into that at any time. This is what I realized I did when I meditated this morning. I have two lottery tickets sitting on the table and I guarantee if I had checked those tickets last night and found out I was a winner or if my husband told me he sold his screenplay or any other number of things that would have given me relief from the financial burden of starting a new company, my spirits would have lifted immediately. I needed to look deeper into what was causing my incredible emotional low and it was financial insecurity. But from what I've read through interviews with tons of entrepreneurs it’s that you have to be able to take risks. Both financial and emotional and recognize how much you are able to handle. If it's not for you. It's not for you. You are who you are. There will always be emotional highs and lows and you need to recognize them, acknowledge them and then let them go. If you can't, then you need to find a different path. You're on the wrong one!

Two additional things happened during this tumultuous 24 hours. Right before I went to bed the night of the tentative job offer, I picked up a book to read to try to make my flying high with emotion self try to relax a little. The book was recommended by a dear friend who is an amazing "doer" and entrepreneur. It's called "The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion" by Elle Luna. I wouldn't be surprised if this book skyrocketed to the NYT best-seller list as the latest-greatest self-help book and with good reason. It's a fun read and well done. What I wanted to happen when I opened it up to read that night was that I would miraculously be on a page that somehow "told" me I was considering the right path with this job opportunity, but instead, this was the last paragraph on the page I opened to:

"But what you don't want is to take a job that was intended to pay the bills and suddenly, you don't have time to explore your passion, you're too tired to step into that which you were put on this earth to do. And if, for some awful reason, you forget that money is a game, a make-believe concept that some people invented, you could be led back into the complex layered world of Should. And here, the loss isn't a financial one. You are the cost. Is it worth it?"

Guess what I did when I read that? I quickly closed the book and put it to the side. It seemed to be a direct message that was the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear and then the next day unfolded in what was probably the absolute right way for my future as devastating as it was initially.

The second thing that happened was this morning after I meditated. I was still pretty down from the rejection but when I went to get my coffee, my laptop and phone, I suddenly starting to feel like the owners of the property had just done me a huge favor. I turned my phone on and a few text messages came up. One of them was from a daily affirmation service. I'm not really one for daily affirmations other than reading what's on my tea bag tabs while I wait for the water to boil, but a friend who knows how I struggle with the great changes I'm going through to switch careers and start a new business told me about it so I decided to give it a try. The message that was sent yesterday (the day of the big rejection) that I was too emotional and busy to read was this: "Craving acceptance is human, but the 'validation trap' can trip us up. You are not for everyone, Julie; find relief in that today".

If only I wasn't so wrapped up in my emotions to read that yesterday. I'm not sure it would have stopped the tears. Sometimes you just have to let them fly, but I'm glad I read it today. Today I went from waking up feeling like I never wanted to get up again, to writing this blog post and going swimming this afternoon (a skill I'm determined to learn during this 50th year of my life). I made a reservation at an airbnb outside of Anza Borrego Park for next week so I can see the desert wildflowers on my way down to my southern California photo shoots (something I've wanted to do ever since moving to CA).  While staying down there, I also plan on getting caught up on reading, exploring a deeper meditation practice, hiking long days and trying my hand at writing my memoirs which is another project for my 50th year. I was really looking forward to this time alone before considering taking the job that so suddenly came up and was planning on dropping it all to stay and start the job, but now I'm realizing it's something I need and want to do and it's something much more important to me than money or opportunity. It's a time I've set aside to continue to learn and grow and to reach deep inside myself to get more in touch with the me in me.

Yes, money is important to survive, but Brennan and I have learned to live on very little. Do I want to be more financially secure? Absolutely. But Brennan and I are both on such a great path of discovery that it may be worth the temporary insecurity. I’m willing to watch my emotional highs and lows from an increasingly detached position and place of deep peace and see what happens. Either the world will open up to us and help us navigate to our true callings or we'll end up "living in a van down by the river:" (SNL)... Really. I may be ok with either one!

Always Behind on any Trend but LOVE the Simplicity and Practicality of the FITBIT!

Always Behind on any Trend but LOVE the Simplicity and Practicality of the FITBIT!

I didn't get my first iPhone until the day before I was leaving for a two week bicycle tour from Oakland to LA. That was just THREE years ago and as it was, the phone was a refurbished iPhone 4. On that trip, I didn't even know about Instagram so I was using my sunglasses over the camera lens as a warming filter. To this day, I still only use the standard default Instagram filters. Pretty sad for a pro photographer, but I'm definitely not one to embrace new technologies. I know it's sometimes a hindrance, but I like my personal time to be free to hike and hang with my husband and to read books (obviously not on a Kindle). I definitely don't want to spend my free time staring into my phone (which I seem to be doing more and more unfortunately). I sometimes like to sing (to the tune of the wedding song at the end of "Napoleon Dynamite") Iiiiiiii hate technology.....!

So when I received a free Fitbit as a thank you for photographing a couple of Fitbit events, it was no surprise that I couldn't get it to work with my iPhone 4. Since I wasn't about to run out and get the latest iPhone just so I could try out the Fitbit, I watched it taunt me for over a year. Then I decided I needed to upgrade my phone when I realized I needed to up my camera phone game (since I AM a photographer). I went out and got a refurbished iPhone 6 right after the seven's release (yes, I'm cheap and figured the six's camera was probably fine).

Out came the Fitbit the day before I left for a vacation in the Pacific Northwest. I figured if I got my start with the Fitbit on the right foot (no pun intended), then I might actually be motivated to use it long-term in my weight loss goals. I was immediately addicted to the great annoyance of the very Northwest hippie friend with whom I was traveling.

I originally wanted a Fitbit because I was curious about my sleeping habits. I knew I was a light sleeper, but wanted to see just how restless I was and when I learned that the Fitbit could monitor my sleep habits, I decided it would be worth it. Way cheaper than paying for a sleep clinic/study. Plus I don't usually sleep well when I travel (especially because I drink a LOT more wine when I travel) so I wanted to compare my sleep habits on the Northwest trip to my regular habits. Surprising results: not too different after all, plus even though I AM fairly restless during the night, I'm getting way more sleep than I thought. It would be interesting to have a sleep specialist analyze my sleep patterns and that's the next step when I have the funds, but for now, I feel ok with my results.

Then I discovered the other great benefits of the Fitbit: Real time calorie in/out tracking and being motivated to try to do 10,000 steps a day. I'm a stress-eater and I've probably mentioned ten times in the past year that with the stress that goes with mid-life career shifts, starting a new business and worrying about my family in the midwest, I've gained about 15 pounds and want to lose them. Not easy at 50 even with my healthy paleo-ish eating habits. I remember when my sister-in-law started counting her steps and joked that she would walk around their condo before going to bed to get to her 10,000 step goal.

I totally get it now. Twice in the past week I've had my husband put on dance music and I walked and danced around until I got to the goal. It's made me completely and totally aware of how little I actually walk around on a typical day. I work at home so I don't even have a commute to add to my step count (I walk across the yard) and even though I stand at my desk which may burn a few more calories than sitting, it's not adding to the step count. That doesn't add up very quickly and I realized, although I love my NYT 7 minute workout, followed by my 5 minute stretch routine (great way to make sure I work and stretch every part of my body almost every day), it's definitely more of a maintenance routine than for weight loss. When I discovered the calorie-in (food log) counter on the Fitbit, it became a whole new ballgame for weight loss. Now, not only was I completely aware that I wasn't moving enough to lose weight, but I also realized just how much it takes to burn more calories than what I was eating. It really does come down to calories in and calories out for weight loss. There's just no way around it and there's no easier way to keep track than the Fitbit. I'm sure Weight Watchers has a similar calorie counter, but to tie in (with Fitbit) with the calories out equation is so seamless it's brilliant. The day I discovered the food log on the Fitbit and how easy it was to enter and keep track, I was immediately hooked.

The other night, I not only realized I needed more steps, but I also had a lot more calories to burn to cover the food I had already eaten and quite frankly the food I still wanted to eat. Hubby and I were having a fun Friday night dance party (we often do this - just the two of us) and I wanted to snack. SO I upped the ante on the movement. Not only did I dance, but I decided I would be the more active one for the sexy part of the evening if you know what I mean. So Friday, not only did I end up with 10,872 steps, but I also burned 2,149 calories to the 1,929 that I put in. real time results. If I had not had that information at my fingertips, I guarantee you, I would have eaten WAY more and would not have been motivated to move as much as I did.

The best bonus that has resulted in only 1.5 weeks of using the Fitbit is that I started swimming. I'll probably write a post about my swimming goal for my 50th year, but in a nutshell I decided I wanted to learn to swim laps. Not only would it be less stressful exercise on my aging body, but I also wanted to enhance my meditation practice and had heard that swimming was meditative. SO when I saw that just my NYT 7 minute workout and the limited steps I took in a typical day wouldn't be enough to burn the calories I needed to lose weight, I was motivated to go to the pool and JUST DO IT. It was easy enough to manually enter the swim workout into my Fitbit so I could count those calories, plus the bike ride to the pool counted too! Voila! Since I started keeping track of my calorie intake last Wednesday, I have managed to burn more calories than I have eaten every day. Today will be difficult since it's a rainy Sunday, but I hope to make it up this week - or maybe we'll just put the dance music on tonight, have some rollicking sex and I'll manage to keep up the good work (update - it worked! I burned more calories Sunday than I took in!).

For weight loss, this is probably the easiest thing I've ever done (and let me tell you, I’ve tried a lot over the years) and if I have to wear it like a leash for as long as it takes to lose the weight, but then continue so that I understand how much I really need to work to keep it off, I'll do it. To go into my 50s, building The Healing Farm business as healthy as I can be is motivation enough to keep a tracker on my wrist. Sad, but true and once I start really seeing the results, I will likely be even more ok with it!!!

Dance, walk, swim, sex and bike on! It’s all hard (except the sex), but it’s the cheap way to weight loss! The Healing Farm. Cultivating Practical Wellness.

 

 

How Can You Break the Glass Ceiling if You Don't Reach for the Stars?: Creating a "Manifestation" Board

Julie's Manifestation Board for Life and The Healing Farm

Julie's Manifestation Board for Life and The Healing Farm

I was hiking recently when the title of this blog post came to me. I'm sure it's been said a hundred times (or maybe a thousand) by others way before I came up with it, but it struck me as profound. Especially for the midlife process I'm currently experiencing. 

As I was hiking I was thinking about the audacity of parts of my manifestation board. Here I was awed by nature on my hike and thinking of great things other's have done with their careers and lives in the past and I suddenly felt a wave of guilt and a sense of "who do I think I am?" go over me. I thought of some of the things I had put on my board including:

  • "Gamechangers 500"
  • "Corner Office" by Adam Bryant
  • "Conscious Company"
  • "Guru"

I mean, really. Who do I think I am? Sometimes I fantasize about being interviewed for the regular "Corner Office" interview in the Sunday New York Times. As the founder and CEO of The Healing Farm I would talk about inspiring others with average means and education to aspire to become extraordinary human beings and to reach for bigger dreams than you can imagine. When I read "Conscious Company" magazine, I can't help but think that if I realize my true dream of The Healing Farm, THF will most certainly be featured as a prime example of the "conscious company" of the future. A "For Benefit" company that invests back into itself, its team and its community championing fair business practices and acting as a model for the future of affordable and practical wellness around the country. An example of healthcare of the future! And of course, as The Healing Farm expands and THF outposts pop up throughout the country in places like appalachia, the deep south and middle America where we're not just preaching natural preventative wellness to the choir, but we're also providing employment opportunities to those communities most hurt by lost manufacturing jobs and the crippling effects of addiction (big breath and run-on sentence), how could it not make the "Gamechangers 500" list? Gamechangers 500 by the way is like a new kind of Fortune 500 list for companies that are NOT profit-driven. Companies that top this year's list: 

I really want The Healing Farm to make this list as a leader in the future of sustainable, affordable and practical healthcare. 

WOW. As I said, pretty audacious. Especially for a midwestern girl of average (to below average) means with an education in fine art and a very average record of self employment!

But also on that manifestation board, I have included words like:

  • Inspire
  • For People and Planet
  • Gratitude
  • Confidence
  • Together
  • Thin

I feel like these words represent who I am already and who I strive to be on a more practical and short-term level. A little more modesty represented here.

The manifestation board came out of a group activity at the last Healing Farm retreat. I wanted to have an art meditation session on the retreat agenda because I was inspired by a guest at my last multi-day retreat who wanted to share her art meditation practice with others. I was inspired after the last retreat to create some art in nature so I wanted to share the practice with the guests at this new retreat. It was a few weeks before the retreat that someone mentioned doing a "manifestation board" and that within a year, two of the most important things on her board were coming to be (a husband and a child). It's now over two years since she completed her board and she said she has never been happier.

This inspired me to suggest that guests bring magazines to contribute during the art meditation just in case someone wanted to do one of these boards. I could not believe the excitement and turnout over this project. It was so inspiring to see my guests quietly going about searching for words and pictures that might represent what they envision for their lives in the future. What a perfect project at a women's health retreat that focussed on midlife transitions. I didn't have time to do a board of my own at the retreat since I was facilitating, but took a much needed week off at home after the retreat and on inauguration day 2017 after a long walk in my neighborhood I got out my materials and began. What I created was so personal and inspiring to me it was overwhelming. What a hopeful thing to do on a day I felt was a little scary for the future.

What is represented on the board is my hope for myself, my marriage and my husband but overwhelmingly my hopes for The Healing Farm. It's representative of something that I can't let go. No matter how scared I am. No matter my lack of confidence. My perceived lack of education and smarts. My lack of experience and financing. It's something that's burning inside of me. It's the passion, the healing, the realization and the "best self" that I've been working on bringing out and discovering for the past five years. It's the emerging butterfly represented. It's the eagle that is the future me. It's my hopes for my future, the future of wellness and the future of the world. It represents peace, growth, joy, connecting to better self, for people and planet, quality time and gratitude. It is my future.

It's audacious, but as I realized on my solo hike the other day: If I don't reach for the stars, how can I ever break that glass ceiling for myself and others? The day after I made my board I decided at the last minute to participate in the women's march in Oakland. I happened to have materials left over from the manifestation board project but had no idea what I wanted my first "activist" sign to read. I remembered that one phrase I had included on my board the day before was: "Women Can Transform the World". I changed it to "Women Will Transform the World". Added some peace signs, a heart, a smiley face and the colors of the chakras (something else I'm learning about recently) and off I went to march for women, for equality, for hope in the future and for peace.

I'm reaching for the stars in my midlife renaissance and I want to inspire others to do the same. I want to discover my true potential. I know it's there somewhere underneath all that fear and lack of confidence. It's slowly emerging. The butterfly is emerging and the eagle waits in the wings.

Photos are from: Demonstration day, hike that inspired the glass ceiling quote, manifestation board making at The Healing Farm retreat and some pics from the urban Oakland hike I did on inauguration day 2017 which was also the day I made my "manifestation board". I can't recommend this project enough.

You can also read about a THF retreat client's experience making her board at the retreat: 

The Healing Farm. Cultivating Practical Wellness.